Pay It Forward and Share the Kindness in 2025
In Scotland, the celebration of the New Year is called Hogmanay. It is a time of coming together with family and friends, food, and festivities to celebrate the ending of one year and the beginning of the next. As in many countries around the world, one of the customs of Hogmanay is to sing Auld Lang Syne. Auld Lang Syne is a song often described as one of Scotland’s gifts to the world, as the lyrics are attributed to the famous Scottish bard, Robert Burns, and date back as far as 1788. (1)
Hogmanay (New Year) fireworks at Edinburgh Castle (Photo by Alana Harris on Unsplash)
In its few simple verses, the song encourages us to remember the “old, long since” by honouring and being grateful for the enduring friendships of our lives. I’m not sure whether it is the nature of the lyrics or the familiarity of the tune that strikes such a sentimental chord but, when the music starts and people join in, there is often a powerful moment of connection as voices swell, smiles emerge, bodies sway, and glasses are raised in a salute to those we care about. For me, the song brings with it a wave of nostalgia and an opening of my heart as I reflect on happy memories and the people who matter to me and have gone before.
In singing Auld Lang Syne this year I was struck by how kindness is emphasised in the lyrics. The phrase, “We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne,” is repeated many times and Burns encourages us to build goodwill, friendship, and hope by coming together through kindness. Maybe that is why the song has stood the test of time. Kindness creates lasting impact on both those who give it, and those who receive it.
Although each one of us may have our own, lived experience of what kindness means and feels like, it can generally be defined as ‘the sincere and voluntary use of one’s time, talent, and resources to better the lives of others, one’s own life, and the world through acts of love, compassion, generosity and service.’ (2) In essence, kindness is doing something out of consideration or concern for someone without expecting a reward in return, so it is generated out of genuine and warm feelings for others, rather than out of any sort of obligation. (3) By fostering understanding, collaboration and trust, kindness overcomes differences. Even the smallest act of kindness can help someone to feel truly seen, heard and acknowledged. It is a powerful way to create immediate, heartfelt connection, and is vitally needed in today’s divisive and disconnected world. When we extend kindness, we show someone that they matter. When we receive kindness, we know that we matter.
“Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of Divine love, which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing.”
To be kind is to notice and recognise the struggles of those around us (or ourselves) and offer comfort and consolation. It is giving a kind word, extending a helping hand, expressing gratitude, or responding to a tense encounter from a place of compassion and understanding. Kindness is a choice; a choice that is available to each one of us at any moment, regardless of our situation. Even in the most trying circumstances, we can choose to be kind. As 18th century English poet, playwright and essayist Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote, “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.”
The amazing thing about kindness is that its profound physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits extend to both the giver and the receiver. By choosing kindness, we actively impact those around us, and we impact ourselves. Research shows that being kind and receiving kindness are both linked to increased feelings of happiness, wellbeing, self-compassion, and life satisfaction. (4) (5) Kindness bolsters our mood, shifts our attitude and supports resilience. A 2020 survey by the Mental Health Foundation shows that 64% of UK adults agree that when other people are kind to them, it has a positive impact on their mental health, and the same proportion agree that being kind to others positively affects their mental health. (6) Furthermore, medical research shows that kindness actually protects the heart by lowering blood pressure, improving energy, strengthening the immune system, slowing aging, and increasing neurotransmitters such as the bonding hormone, oxytocin. (7) In this way, practicing kindness literally and figuratively strengthens our hearts and improves our lives.
By impacting both the giver and the receiver, kindness has an almost magical capacity to generate a virtuous circle of growth and exponential expansion. Each individual act of kindness ripples out and creates more acts of kindness. We know that engaging in kindness promotes even more kindness and receiving kindness makes us more inclined to be kind to others and ourselves. (8) This dynamic cycle of kindness is called a kindness boomerang, by the nonprofit organisation, Life Vest Inside (One Day video). Or you might recognize it as the Pay It Forward phenomenon. Pay It Forward is an old idea that gained a modern following after the 2000 movie and book (by Catherine Ryan Hyde) with the same name, where we learned that simple acts of kindness can ultimately expand to change the world.
What is interesting to remember, however, is that every ripple of kindness, no matter how extensive, started with just a single act of love – someone taking the time and courage to be kind. In this way, love is at the core of kindness; kindness is love made visible.
In the 2000 movie ‘Pay It Forward’ Trevor, played by Haley Joel Osment, explains how kindness can multiply exponentially
“Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.”
As we discussed in December’s Attitude of Gratitude post, one of the core principles of the Findhorn Foundation is Love in Action. For us, love in action is taking intentional, aligned actions in our own lives so we may be in deeper connection with ourselves, others, nature, and Spirit. It is having the courage and vulnerability to open to love inwardly, while also extending it outwardly toward others, and recognising that everything we do can be done out of love. We believe in the power of love in action, so we believe in the power of kindness.
Each year, New Year celebrations create a temporal landmark that triggers what psychologists call The Fresh Start Effect – a time of feeling energised and activated to take on old and new goals with renewed enthusiasm and commitment. At the Findhorn Foundation SCIO, we want to start our year with kindness. To that end, we would like to announce our new love-in-action, Pay It Forward initiative.
Pay It Forward is a programme to begin Breaking Down the Barriers to personal growth and transformation so that more people may be able to find the wellbeing, inner harmony and joy of being in greater connection and alignment with themselves, their community, nature and Spirit through the learnings of the Findhorn Foundation SCIO. In essence, it is a funding programme targeted specifically at overcoming issues of affordability and inclusivity. For every £15,000 added to Pay It Forward, we will be able to fund and secure a place in one of our experiences in perpetuity so that it can be given freely to someone in need, year after year, who might benefit from a little extra kindness. That means for less than £1 million donated in 2025, we could ultimately have a Pay It Forward spot in one of our experiences for decades to come. Imagine the impact that would have on so many people, and the exponential kindness that could ripple out from that! Our ultimate vision is to build an endowment fund that assures the transformational programmes and legacy of the Findhorn Foundation to continue in perpetuity. Find out more about the Pay It Forward Programme here.
We hope that you are looking forward to the possibilities and new beginnings that will be a part of your new year. Whether you are someone who makes lengthy resolutions, or just focuses on a word-of-the-year, we invite you to include kindness in your plans for 2025. If we all aspire to give, grow, and receive kindness, we will create a wave of love that will transform the world.
“You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually
performing small acts of kindness.”
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-25402099; https://www.countryliving.com/life/a30201370/auld-lang-syne-meaning/
Curry OS, Rowland LA, Van Lissa CJ, Zlotowitz S, McAlaney J, Whitehouse H. Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2018;76:320–9.
Rowland L, Curry OS. A range of kindness activities boost happiness. J Soc Psychol. 2019;159(3):340–3.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/research/kindness-research-briefing
“The Science behind kindness and how it benefits your health” (2020)
Aknin LB, Van de Vondervoort JW, Hamlin JK. Positive feelings reward and promote prosocial behavior. Curr Opin Psychol. 2018;20:55–9; Stallman HM, Ohan JL, Chiera B. The role of social support, being present and self-kindness in university student well-being. Br J Guid Couns. 2018;46(4):365–74.
